Setting and Holding Boundaries
How easy is it for you to set healthy boundaries?
Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing your identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid, with healthy boundaries often falling somewhere in between. Knowing and then being clear on boundaries enables you to be at your best for yourself and for those around you.
Below are some strategies you can use:
• Examine the boundaries that already exist (or are deficient) in your life. Then set the ones you want for yourself and the people around you.
• Learn to say no simply but firmly to something you do not want to do. Do not feel that you need to explain, as you have the right to determine what you do and do not want to do. If you struggle, always remember that it is better to be uncomfortable than be resentful.
• Protect your physical space. Spending time with other people can be draining. Especially for introverts. Make sure you have a neutral space where you can retreat, center, and ground yourself when needed.
• Keep the focus on yourself. As you do so make sure to only declare consequences that you are willing to follow through on, or else the boundaries will not be effective.
• Match your behavior to the boundaries you are setting. You cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing.
• Eliminate toxic people from your life, those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.
Remember, you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary in a respectful manner. If it upset them, know it is their problem.
Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process.
It is critical that you show compassion and kindness to yourself in the process.
Today, I invite you to find out what you want from your various relationships (work/personal), set boundaries based on those desires and then be clear with yourself and with other people about your boundaries.
Wishing you continued growth and success,
Nora Paxton #healthyboundaries